How to Drive in India

Want to get your heart rate going? Hire a driver to take you on a tour of India. We spent a lot of time in the car getting from here to there and I was able to get acquainted with traffic law, India style. Let's just say that driving in the US is going to seem awfully dull.

Here is my assessment of the Indian driving rules, based on my recent brushes with death:

1. Honk at all times. (He who is the loudest wins.)
   
2. Do not use your turn signal.
   
3. When you see pedestrians or livestock, speed up. (Even better, try to brush their backs with your rearview mirror)
   
4. Do not hit a cow.
   
5. Pass as many cars/trucks as you can.
   
6. To pass: cross into oncoming traffic to see if passing is "safe." If so, veer into opposite lane, flash your lights and honk (see #1), wait until you can see words on the front licence plate of the other vehicle, and then swerve back into your own lane. If you are lucky, you will have passed the car in front of you.
7. Queue? Don't even think about it.
8. If you see a bump, speed up.
9. Do not wear a seatbelt. (Often this is not a concern, as there are no seatbelts)

I tried to capture the experience on video, and here's my best result. Please note that I dug my elbows into the seat and kept as steady as humanly possible during filming. If the video makes you a little queasy, then I think I've achieved my goal of sharing the true experience with you. Also, I am smack in the middle of our van, so when you see the dotted white line, half of our car is on the opposite side of the road. Enjoy.